Looking back on it, we should have suspected that 2020 was going to be an atrocious year when Mr. Peanut was murdered. Remember that? The poor bastard was only 104 years old when he died back in January, and after a lifetime spent urging people to feast on the innards of his legume brethren, he was callously hurled off a cliff by his ad agency, cast aside like the Noid and Mayor McCheese.
Then during the Super Bowl, we learned that Mr. Peanut wasn’t gone for good—rather, he had, much like Jesus, risen from the dead on a Sunday. However, when Jesus came back he was just regular Jesus, still a thirtysomething ready to preach the good word, whereas Mr. Peanut died for our sins only to be born anew as a younger, more Gen Z–friendly baby peanut named (but of course) Baby Nut. And now, all the people across the land can celebrate this resurrection by ordering official Baby Nut merchandise like aprons and golf balls and stuff.
For those of you who have given your hearts and souls to Baby Nut, you should remember that this coming Sunday is Baby Nut’s first Father’s Day since being reborn, which will probably be confusing for him, because he’s part of a trinity in which he embodies the father, the son, and the honey roast. To celebrate the holiday, Planters is inviting Baby Nut fans to visit this website, where you can enter to win some branded merch and spend a few hours teaching the little guy how to play catch. It’s mildly amusing—if a bit creepy to hear all the repetitive giggle sound effects—and unlike your human children, Baby Nut will never accidentally hit you in the nuts with a baseball.