M&M’s Was Trolling Us All

You all knew M&M's wasn't actuallyretiring the spokescandies, right?

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m&m commercial
Photo: YouTube (Fair Use)

Earlier this week, M&M’s announced that it would be placing all of its classic spokescandies on an “indefinite pause” because they were considered by some to be “polarizing.” (Yes, spokescandies. You know, the anthropomorphic M&M crew.) The brand went on to unveil comedian Maya Rudolph as the candies’ replacement, since she is “a spokesperson America can agree on.”

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This whole hullaballoo is a reference to the fact that whenever M&M’s makes changes to these candy-shelled mascots—altering their footwear, adding a new character—certain people, aka conservative commentators, tend to lose their shit and loudly start complaining about wokeness. Still, the announcement sent people online into a tailspin: Some were confused by the decision to retire the beloved mascots, while others were lamenting that the last vestiges of their childhood were being stolen away from them.

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However, The New York Times has confirmed what The Takeout surmised from the moment the M&M’s announcement went viral: This is all just a publicity stunt. The spokescandies aren’t actually on “an indefinite pause” as M&M’s claimed, but are instead ramping up for their return during a Super Bowl commercial spot.

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“Rest assured, the characters are our official long-term spokescandies,” a brand representative told the NYT via email. “The iconic M&M’s characters are in fact spending some time pursuing their other passions.”

But a commercial airing during the Super Bowl featuring Maya Rudolph will bring back all the erstwhile mascots, even though we’ve barely had time to miss them. The M&M’s rep assured the NYT that the spokescandies will be returned “right where they belong at the heart of the brand.”

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I’m assuming none of you were too worried. We’ve seen this song and dance before. The retirement of the M&M’s is about as real as Mr. Peanut’s tragic death or the McRib’s “farewell tour.They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but as a marketing tactic, nothing’s ever gone for all that long.

Besides, the M&M’s probably needed their refresh, to be honest. There’s only so long that you could keep up the weird horny green M&M thing without it getting a little stale. (After all, where do you go from here?)