15 of the Best Fictional Drinks of All Time

After almost getting killed by a dwarf, Edmund’s first trip into Narnia quickly improves when the White Witch conjures a scrumptious-looking hot beverage and a snack for him to enjoy. Although movie Edmund doesn’t appear too wowed by the drink (I too would be a bit preoccupied if I were under a blanket with Tilda Swinton), the original book by C.S. Lewis makes it very clear just how amazing it is. “Edmund felt much better as he began to sip the hot drink,” the book reads. “It was something he had never tasted before, very sweet and foamy and creamy, and it warmed him right down to his toes.” Don’t mind if I do.

“The Red Dot” (season 3, episode 12)

There’s nothing like a good scotch, and Hennigan’s is “damn good scotch,” according to Cosmo Kramer. Not only does it go down well, but it evidently packs quite a kick: Kramer is swinging from the chandelier after just one mug, passionately declaring his fondness for George and even improvising some advertisements for Hennigan’s. Given Kramer’s eclectic lifestyle and the likelihood that he’s sampled just about everything New York City has to offer, Hennigan’s must be truly special to have such a profound impact upon him. A drink like this should never have been left to languish in Jerry’s cupboard for so long.

Poured from the genius imagination of Douglas Adams, the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is a somewhat contradictory drink. It’s labeled “the best drink in existence” by a very authoritative guide to the universe, but it also inflicts physical pain upon those who consume it. In fact, drinking one of these is said to feel “like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.” But if the Guide says that it’s the best then our hands are tied, and we must place it within the pantheon of great fictional drinks. Besides, who among us hasn’t craved a brain-smashing drink after a stressful week of work and personal drama?

As if we needed another reason to want to live within the world of Pokémon—but Moomoo Milk certainly provides one. This milk, which comes from the Pokémon Miltank (pictured above), is clearly exceptional. Its taste is thoroughly enjoyed by humans and Pokémon alike, and we see both species drink it numerous times throughout the series. It’s also highly nutritious and capable of healing a Pokémon back to peak health. Not to mention it would be the perfect beverage to dip these Oreos into.

“This is some of the strongest, finest alcoholic cider money can buy,” croons Mr. Fox (George Clooney) in the 2009 Wes Anderson film based on the 1970 Roald Dahl novel. “It burns in your throat, boils in your stomach, and tastes almost exactly like pure melted gold.” Not even Clooney’s sleepy vocal delivery is enough to stop our mouths from watering at the prospect of that cider, made by a local apple farmer named Bean. The fact that it evidently appeals to humans, foxes, and rats is an impressive point in its favor. What’s more, Bean himself doesn’t actually eat food, instead subsisting entirely upon the cider. Certainly not a healthy lifestyle, but one heck of a testament to the drink’s quality.

“Flaming Moe’s” (season 3, episode 10)

Pour a little bit of everything in your liquor cabinet into a blender, add some children’s cough syrup, pulse, pour, and then light on fire: voilà, the Flaming Homer. (Yes, it’s the Flaming Homer. We don’t honor drink thieves here.) This delicious concoction not only manages to hit the spot for Homer, who typically prefers beer, but it even delights bartender Moe, who’s mostly dead inside. Moe adds the drink to his menu and it isn’t long before his ghost town of a bar is overflowing with satisfied patrons, and even a satisfied Aerosmith. It’s one of the few times that anybody watching The Simpsons wishes they could visit Moe’s Tavern.

What about Butterbeer and Firewhisky? you might ask. Those drinks may make you feel good and satisfy your taste buds, but Felix Felicis (or “liquid luck”) makes you feel unstoppable, enabling you to satisfy any of your goals. That’s a whole other level of potency. The fact that it’s so much harder to obtain than other drinks in the Potterverse would also make it that much sweeter when you finally get to taste it.

Need more proof? Here’s a description from She Who Must Not Be Named about how it feels to consume Felix Felicis: “Slowly but surely, an exhilarating sense of infinite opportunity stole through him; he felt as though he could have done anything, anything at all.” Yes, please.

Although the reality of filming it was cold and disgusting, Willy Wonka’s river of drinkable chocolate easily ranks as one of the most iconic libations of fiction. According to Wonka, it’s the only chocolate in the world that is mixed by waterfall, which is the only way to get it “just right.”

Golden ticket winner Augustus Gloop manages to sample some of the chocolate river before he’s shown the door (or, in this case, pneumatic tube). His moan of “mmmmm... this stuff is terrific” is reassuring, given that Augustus spends almost all of his screen time consuming food and drink, yet only the chocolate river elicits a positive verbal reaction from him.

What could possibly unite an uptight propane salesman, a chain-smoking conspiracy theorist, a ladies man, and an Army barber? An amazing beer, of course. Alamo Beer has a prestige that other cartoon beer brands just don’t—it won the 1849 Munich Beer Festival! It must be as good as it looks, since the foursome are willing to drive all the way to Mexico when supplies run out.

Heck, even kids enjoy the taste of Alamo. King of the Hill fans will fondly remember the scene in which young Bobby and his friends get hammered from it in “’Twas the Nut Before Christmas.” Now, we don’t approve of underage drinking, but it’s admittedly astounding when you consider the scientific fact that children hate their first taste of beer. Even some adults don’t like the taste of beer (don’t judge me), but I’d very happily make an exception for Alamo.

“The Fight” (season 3, episode 13)

Snake Juice is a high-end liqueur that sprung from the unique entrepreneurial mind of Tom Haverford (Aziz Ansari). Despite Tom’s track record and the drink’s questionable ingredients, Snake Juice proves to be an enormous hit. Even Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) loves it and declares, “Damn if that isn’t delicious.” That’s about as great an endorsement as any product can receive, as Ron is renowned for brutal honesty and an inability to enjoy most things.

Snake Juice doesn’t only taste delightful but packs a wallop, quickly rendering all of Tom’s friends hopelessly wasted (with entertaining results). We can safely say that Pawnee, Indiana has two claims to fame: the fourth fattest town in the U.S. and the number-one party drink.

Fans of this Star Trek iteration may recall raktajino (Klingon coffee) being mentioned once or twice, or 47 times. It’s rich and loaded with enough caffeine to fuel the Deep Space Nine station’s crew as they go about their astro-business. It’s not only strong sustenance, but the crew genuinely seem to enjoy the taste. In fact, several different species enjoy it: humans, Bajorans, the Ocampa, and even Changelings. You know a drink is a winner if it satisfies palates from across the known universe. Maybe in a few hundred years, we’ll be starting our mornings with something raktajino-like. Hopefully.

After she and the two children in her care get drenched in the rain, the practically perfect Mary Poppins (Julie Andrews) administers medicine to combat any oncoming cold. The bottle is somehow able to dispense three entirely different-flavored liquids: strawberry, lime cordial, and rum punch, the favorite flavors of each consumer. (The rum punch even gives us a tiny glimpse of Mary’s wild side, hiccups and all.)

Unfortunately, the film doesn’t spend any time exploring the full potential of this marvelous medicine bottle. Can it conjure any drink at all? Can it do carbonation and serve up Pamplemousse LaCroix antihistamines? We’ll never know. But if it’s capable of satisfying two fussy kids and their magical nanny, we know that it’s something worth tasting for ourselves.

“Canning Randy” (season 6, episode 7)

One of the most heartwarming arcs in this series is seeing Randy Wharmpess (Will Forte) go from a sad corporate employee to a successful beer purveyor. Despite its gross name, Wharmpess Beer is a delectable brew, and the show gives us much evidence of that. His beer is award-winning—fourth prize at the Weehawken Retirement Home Clam Bake and Wheelchair Maintenance Picnic, but still.

Marshall (Jason Segel) proclaims that the beer is “delicious,” and coming from Beercules himself, that’s huge. Wharmpess beer becomes a national success that is stocked in every bar across the land, or the land that exists in this weird HIMYM world. It’s safe to say that this show made us all crave a great big glass of Wharmpess.

At a high-stakes poker game, James Bond (Daniel Craig) ups the ante by ordering an epic martini that he dubs the Vesper. Its description alone is enticing enough to make several of his competitors want to try it as well. Upon sipping it, James emphatically declares that it’s “not half bad” (high praise from an alcohol connoisseur of his caliber).

In the next Bond film, Quantum of Solace, we see Bond visibly drunk for the first time in film history—after ingesting six Vespers. A cocktail capable of intoxicating the Man with the Golden Liver? That’s nothing to sneeze at. Sadly, one of Vesper’s key ingredients, Kina Lillet, is no longer available. But that adds just the right dash of fictional unattainability to this obviously incredible drink.

“Harvest” (season 10, episode 6)

Remember the days where superhero-themed shows were a novelty? This episode sees a pre-blue-tights Clark Kent (Tom Welling) and Lois Lane (Erica Durance) stumble upon a little town whose drinking water has been infused with blue kryptonite. The power of the kryptonite makes the water taste great while also preventing anyone who drinks it from ever getting sick. This is some H20 that doesn’t need clever marketing to get us excited.

It should be mentioned that the inhabitants of that town are superstitious nutjobs who express their thanks for the glorious water by making a human sacrifice every year. Still, it’s clearly an awesome drop for anyone, so long as they can run fast.